Are You A Zombie?

Do you find yourself shambling around town looking for a purpose? Have strange cravings for a fresh brain or even living tissue? Do people avoid you and scream in horror when you come around? You might be a zombie. In these modern days the zombie has definitely evolved further beyond being the slaves of voodoo masters. Since this can get so confusing at times for a zombie such as yourself this short guide will explain what different types of zombies there are. This way you can determine what kind of zombie you are and hopefully find a purpose for yourself in this crazy mixed up world. First of all we need to quickly define what a zombie is; a zombie can be, but is not limited to, a freshly dead corpse re-animated by radiation, chemicals, viruses, sorcery, or “acts of God”. Many zombies feel a hunger that will never go away, the hunger for brains or fresh human flesh if needed. The need to feast on the living is just a way for you as a zombie to temporarily control your strong hunger pains. Unfortunately science has yet to find a cure for this ongoing hunger issue, so in the mean time you will have to cope with eating the living. This can be hard when you first become a zombie, but trust me you’ll be ok with taking a bite out of your friend Dave in no time. There are many different categories of zombies, but I am going to try to focus on the big six which are:

  • Voodoo Zombies
  • Chemically Altered Zombies
  • Virually Infected Zombies
  • Parasitic Zombies
  • Possessed Zombies
  • Irradiated Zombies
     

 Voodoo Zombies

Voodoo zombies are not your typical modern zombie. These types of zombies don’t really have the hunger that most zombies have. They are victims turned into zombie slaves by Voodoo priests or priestess.  These victims are used by the priest/ priestess to do their bidding for them. Usually you are turned into a zombie slave because you owe a large debt or you were bad or evil to people in your previous life. Many zombie slaves are doomed to be just that a slave the rest of their time on earth. There has only been a few studied cases where zombie slaves have returned to the land of the living.  A couple of good movies to help you understand if you are a Voodoo Zombie or not.

 Chemically altered zombies are typically humans that are turned into zombies, either on accident or on purpose, by ingesting or being covered in some kind of unknown or known chemical. These zombie types are usually the outcome of some government experiment, government secret operation, or some “accidental” chemical spill. Chemically altered zombies do suffer from the hunger and must feed constantly in order to stay in top physical undead shape. One thing to note about becoming a chemically altered zombie is that you will usually die right away and be re-animated pretty fast. This is good because you can immediately begin feasting on unsuspecting victims in your party. Unlike virally infected zombies that show signs and symptoms before they change giving a chance for anyone to simply put you out of your misery. A couple of good movies to help you understand if you are a Chemically Altered Zombie or not.

Virually Infected Zombies

Virually infected zombies are one of the most common forms of zombies to become. Chances are you got caught in some sort of plague or virus outbreak. This sort of zombie can be caused by government research with different viruses or an unexplained disease or virus from another country or another planet. Zombies which are virually infected do display symptoms before they turn. If you are turning into a zombie but do not quite feel the hunger yet try to find a nice secluded area so you are not bothered or killed for that matter by any pesky humans. This way you can change and start your new life as an infected zombie. Virually infected zombies do have the power to recruit humans into the zombie ranks, by bite or by means of blood.  A couple of good movies to help you understand if you have been infected with a zombie virus.

Parasitic Zombies

Parasitic zombies are usually humans turned into zombies by a parasite. This can be, but is not limited to, alien parasites or even man-made parasites. Sometimes parasitic zombies feel the need to feed, but it usually depends on the agenda of the parasite controlling them. The parasite normally keeps the host alive until it has no more use for it. A parasitic zombie is controlled solely by the parasite and must conform to the demands of the parasite living inside the brain. Unfortunately if you’re a parasite zombie you have no means of recruiting humans by bite. A couple of good movies to help you understand if you have been taken over by a parasite.

 Possessed Zombies

Possessed zombies are usually humans that have been taken over by some supernatural force. These types of zombies don’t normally feel the hunger that many other types of zombies feel. Possessed zombies usually have some sort of agenda, whether it’s getting a bunch of pesky teenagers out of a secluded log cabin or trying to find the book of the dead to raise the army of the dead. Possessed zombies usually have supernatural powers such as making someone have visual or auditory hallucinations.  If you are a possessed zombie you are one of the rarest of the types of zombies, possessions normally only happen in isolated incidents. A couple of good movies to help you understand if you are or have been possessed.

Irradiated Zombies

 Irradiated zombies are humans that are turned into zombies because of coming in contact with high levels of radiation or some kind of nuclear waste. This kind of zombification usually only affects recently deceased corpses, but has been known to affect living tissue.  Irradiated zombies usually are caused by human error, whether from a downed satellite, government experiments, government intervention gone wrong, or even a power plant melt down may cause irradiated zombies to rise. Typically irradiated zombies do feel the hunger and must feed on the living. A couple of good movies to help you understand if you are an irradiated zombie.

 Hopefully this guide will help you quickly figure out what kind of zombie you have become. This way you can serve your own zombie kind for the purpose that they need you for.

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