14 Cameras

14 cameras

14 Cameras, the sequel to 2015’s 13 cameras brings back creepy landlord Gerald for another go.  This time a family of five rents a high-end home in New Mexico for a getaway of a couple of weeks.  Unfortunately for them, Gerald is the guy they’re renting from and the house is littered with hidden cameras where Gerald streams their activities to the Dark Web for others to view as well.

14 Cameras was all over the place.  The movie introduced a couple in the beginning, a mirror to the couple we saw in the first movie.  Gerald is their landlord, and he breaks in, does his creep thing and leaves.  The couple then argues over a toothbrush Gerald used, and……thats it, they don’t show up for the rest of the movie, there was no point to their characters.  The movie then introduces yet another tenant of one of Geralds properties as Gerald breaks in to install some cameras like he usually does.  This time however the tenant returns while he’s still there and Gerald incapacitates her and kidnaps her.  The movie then jumps yet again to the main focus of the plot, the family of five staying in this luxury house for a vacation.  This is the point of the movie where things start to get ridiculous.  Exactly how much money does Gerald have?  Between 13 Cameras and this movie so far, we’re shown that he owns at several different properties, one of which is a REALLY nice house with a pool and Jacuzzi.  The movie does show that in his Dark Web community viewers of his stream offer to buy underwear if he steals it from some of his guests.  But does he really steal enough to be worth millions, or at the very least hundreds of thousands?  Who knows?  There’s no explanation given, so just roll with it I guess.

Gerald is still the same super-creepy, unsettling landlord from the first film.  This time however the writing has comically turned him into a ninja.  It’s hilarious really, this overweight old man with his pained walk and awkward limp manages to weave in and out of the home without being seen by anyone and silently sneak up on people.  Coupled with his unlimited money and his ninja skills Gerald is essentially Batman in this movie.  The first movie actually made slightly more sense as no one would be around when he would break in, or he’d hide in the basement that they pretended didn’t exist, this movie just doesn’t care.  One minute he’s there, the next he’s gone, and no ones the wiser.  It’s dumb and doesn’t make sense.

This movie sadly presents us with characters even dumber than the ones from the last movie.  The jogger mentioned above ends up jailed in an underground hole with Claire from the first movie.  Wanting to escape she uses pieces of wood to create a prison shiv.  Gerald takes her out to bathe her one time and she uses this opportunity to stab him, in the shoulder…… of course this does nothing but slightly inconvenience the guy and she’s killed when he shoots her.  Her character ultimately served no purpose whatsoever.

Overall this wasn’t a good movie.  Certain parts made zero sense and just looked dumb.  Characters do stupid things just so that the antagonist can win.  The writing went from mediocre in the first movie to just plain bad in this sequel.  Its entertaining, but its dumb entertainment.

3/10

-Andre

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13 Cameras

 

13 cameras

A newly married couple Ryan and Claire move into their first home together as they prepare for the birth of their child.  Things become strained between the two when Ryans secret life starts to impact their relationship.  That happens to be the least of their concerns as their creepy landlord has installed hidden cameras all over their home and spends his time watching their every move for his own nefarious reasons.

Aside from the antagonist the acting in this was fairly average.  Gerald, the landlord, was easily the best actor in this movie.  He managed to portray a really creepy, yet still realistic villain.  His time on-screen leaves an impression simply because of how unsettling he is.  His gait, hygiene, expressions, and social awkwardness are traits that one could come across in their daily life which lend to the realism of his character.  Unfortunately the rest of the cast doesn’t stand out.  Their performances are run of the mill and leave no impression.

The plot is fairly average and predictable.  Aside from the parts that made no sense the story follows the couples marital problems while the real story is their voyeur landlord.  The landlord stalks the couple, breaking in and messing with their things when they’re not home.  He eventually kidnaps Ryans secret girlfriend and keeps her trapped in the sound proof basement of their home.  That was a major issue I had with the movie.  When the couple is initially being shown the house they ask the landlord if there’s any basement or attic and he tells them no.  Later on they find a stuck door, thinking it’s a closet.  When they finally pry it open they find that it leads to a basement they were completely unaware of, and then that’s it.  It’s never spoken of again between them.  They never go down there again, never mention it to their landlord, never talk about it again until its time to save Ryans girlfriend.  It was really dumb writing and just made the characters look stupid.  Immediately after is yet another stupid scene.  The landlord shuts off the power to the building and breaks in to kill them after discovering that they found Ryans girlfriend in the basement they pretended didn’t exist.  Ryans wife and girlfriend hide in the bathroom and attempt to call the police while Ryan runs into the pitch black house with just a baseball bat.  Of course he gets killed, hes stupid.  Ryans girlfriend escapes through the bathroom window and makes a run for it.  Well thats what she’d do if she had a brain.  She leaves the bathroom and hides in the backyard trying to phone the police again, instead of trying to run to a neighbor’s house or just leaving the property.  Of course she’s immediately found and ultimately killed by the landlord.

Ultimately this was a fairly average movie with a great antagonist.  Unfortunately dumb plot points drug the movie down towards its climax.  The stupidity in the climax ultimately ruined everything the movie had previously built up and is just cartoonish and ridiculous.  Gerald the landlord is a great new villain and I look forward to seeing more movies with him in them.  Hopefully the writing and surrounding acting talent are improved.

4/10

-Andre

Murder Party

murder party

Murder party is a 2007 horror/comedy movie.  It’s the story of a guy who picks up an invitation to a murder party he finds in the street.  When he arrives he finds that his curiosity has led him into something that jeopardizes his safety when he just wanted to enjoy himself.

Murder Party is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen.  It’s rare in the fact that I found it so boring that I couldn’t even finish it.  I managed forty minutes before I had to bow out.  If I had to guess the budget, I’d say less than five grand.  With the majority of that going towards the “actors.”  The plot was horrible and dumb.  The protagonist finds a card on the street that just says murder party with an address and tells him to come alone.  For some wild reason he decides to go despite walking through shady areas and the “party” being at a warehouse.  He isn’t even suspicious when he walks in and only sees a handful of people around.  They even comment about how they didn’t think anyone would  be dumb enough to come there, but the protagonist is.  The antagonist group catches and ties the protagonist up within the first ten minutes of the movie, they then spend the next thirty just talking and doing nothing.  All they do is talk about stupid, mundane nothing while the protagonist sits there.  This movie is billed as a comedy, but I wasn’t able to find anything funny.  I couldn’t even laugh at how bad it was, it was just, draining.

The acting ranged from sub-par to downright bad.  None of the characters are like-able, they’re generally annoying.  Everyone tries to be funny and do funny things but it just comes off as an annoyance.  No one stands out or even puts forth an average performance.  Were they even trying?

Overall this movie sucked.  I found no redeeming qualities about it.  There is nothing positive I can say about it.  I regret wasting my time watching it.  I applaud anyone with a strong enough will to sit through this movie to the end credits.

1/10

-Andre

Horror Podcasts Pt. 2

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The NoSleep Podcast

https://www.thenosleeppodcast.com/

“In the spring of 2010, a new forum appeared on Reddit.com. It was called “Nosleep” and the concept of this forum (or “subreddit”) was to be a place for people to post original scary stories about frightening experiences. It was an online version of telling spooky stories around the campfire.

A year later, as Nosleep was growing at a rapid pace, one member named Matt Hansen proposed the idea of doing a podcast where some of the top stories from Nosleep would be narrated in audiobook style. The response was quite positive and over the next few months a small group of members endeavored to put together what would come to be known as The Nosleep Podcast. On June 13th, 2011 Episode #1 was released.

David Cummings assumed the role of host and producer and it was decided to release a new episode every two weeks. Producing the podcast has been a learning experience from the start with many Redditors volunteering to narrate and help produce the shows.

The podcast has been well-received from the very beginning. Through word-of-mouth advertising the number of regular listeners has grown steadily. Reviewers on iTunes consistently rate 5 stars and the podcast ranks quite high in its “Arts” category.

The Nosleep Podcast has proudly featured stories from authors who have gone on to publish their stories. Notably, the “Penpal” series from Dathan Auerbach and “99 Brief Scenes from the End of the World” by T.W. Grim.”

The Nosleep Podcast is my favorite horror podcast by far.  The production is top-notch and the voice actors are amazing.  NoSleep has a free and a premium version.  The free version typically features the first three stories with an ad at the beginning of the episode.  The ad is acted out in horror fashion by the shows regular voice talent.  The premium version features an additional two stories, typically rounding out episodes to an hour and a half of content.  In addition, every season for premium subscribers features additional special episodes.  NoSleep also does tours where they do live shows across the US and Canada.  It’s definitely worth checking out!

 

pseudopod

 

Pseudopod

http://pseudopod.org/

“You’ve found the world’s premier horror fiction podcast. For over a decade, Pseudopod has been bringing you the best short horror in audio form, to take with you anywhere. We pay our authors professional rates for original fiction and we reach more people every week than any other short fiction horror market.

In 2016 we celebrated our 10th Anniversary. For details, check out our YEAR10 page.

Are you new to Pseudopod? Don’t let our decade of content daunt you. We’ve assembled a list of stories that show the strength and diversity of our offerings. Check it out here (or at the “For New Listeners” link under “Episodes” on the bar above”

Pseudopod is an award-winning podcast that focuses on Sci-Fi and Horror.  Stories are user submitted and acted out by the podcasts voice actors.  Host Alasdair Stuart opens each story talking about the themes and meanings behind certain elements of the story.  The voice sometimes include recognized actors from TV shows and such.

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The Hidden Frequencies

https://thehiddenfrequenciespodcast.podbean.com/

“There are places in the dimension of sound where the walls between universes are thin. In these fragile pockets of static, lies the ability to hear the alternate realities of millions of maybe-people in countless could-be worlds; where the status quo is different from our own. With a keen ear and an open mind we may tune in to these sound waves of the strange, the bizarre and the otherworldly.

They are: The Hidden Frequencies.”

 

 

“The Hidden Frequencies Podcast was created to the great science-fiction/horror anthology shows that influenced a generation of American audiences: shows like The Twilight ZoneThe Outer LimitsX Minus 1Tales From the Dark SideTales from the Crypt and more.

Each episode of the show is a self-contained story: a journey to an alternate earth in an alternate time, where ordinary people must reckon with the extraordinary. Every week, The Frequencies reveal another strange, complex or horrifying world as created by skilled writers at the top of their game and brought to life by a star-studded cast of talented professional voice actors.”

 

Hidden Frequencies is AMAZING.  It’s a brand new podcasts, having debuted its first episode at the beginning of October.  It features some of the production team and voice actors of The NoSleep Podcast.  Having grown up on shows like the Twilight Zone and Tales from the Crypt, this podcast dredges up nostalgic feelings like no other.  Production is amazing.  It’s like a more horror themed version of Twilight Zone with all the weirdness and themes from the original.

-Andre

Horror Podcasts Pt. 1

Just in time for Halloween I’ve decided to drop a few of my favorite horror themed podcasts for scary stories to keep the scares flowing!

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Knifepoint Horror

https://knifepointhorror.libsyn.com/

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The Drabblecast

https://www.drabblecast.org/

We are a weekly audio fiction podcast featuring short and flash fictions from a variety authors. Our singular focus is off-beat, funny, eclecticism in science fiction, fantasy, and horror.

The Drabblecast ran its first episode in February of 2007. In the early days, Norm and college friends and then editors Kendall Marchman and Luke Coddington wrote most of the episodes. But soon a listenership grew, and the Drabblecast began publishing stories contributed by its fans. Later, professional authors got involved. Names like Tim PrattMike ResnickBen H. Winters, and Mur Lafferty have appeared on the podcast.

The Drabblecast is the winner of the 2010, 2011 and 2012 Parsec Awards for Best Speculative Fiction Audio Magazine.”

Drabblecast has amazing production and Norm is one of the best hosts I’ve ever heard.  Stories are typically user submitted and the team chooses which one to produce.  Drabblecast is returning from a long hiatus, bringing its first new story to life on Halloween.

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Lets Not Meet

http://www.letsnotmeetpodcast.com/

“Let’s Not Meet is a true horror podcast. These are stories of real encounters with creeps, murderers and psychos. Told in the form of a campfire narrative, Let’s Not Meet sets out to prove that real monsters are not that of fiction novels or horror films. The real monsters are the humans that walk among us every day of our lives.
The tales told in this podcast are from the Let’s Not Meet forum of reddit.com. Join Andrew Tate every Sunday for new episodes.”
I love Let’s Not Meet for the simple fact that the stories are real.  The  reality of the storeis adds an extra level of creepiness to it knowing that people exist like this in the world and you’re one unlucky instance away from running into them and having your own story to tell.
-Andre

Tucker and Dale vs Evil

tucker and dale

Tucker and Dale vs Evil is a 2010 horror comedy about two friends, Tucker and Dale, who head out to Tuckers cabin to do some repairs and relax.  On the trip the pair encounter a group of college kids who stereotype the them as inbred, homicidal maniacs.  What ensues is a night of blood and comedy as the two groups clash over a misunderstanding.

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The writing and plot are fairly simple but very effective.  Tucker and Dale just want to spend the weekend doing some fishing and drinking beers but have their weekend ruined when these college kids keep killing themselves all over the property.  Tucker and Dale rescue one of the girls when she has an accident while swimming and almost drowns.  Her friends mistake the pair taking her as a kidnapping and set out to get revenge.  The best part was seeing the various ways that people would end up unintentionally killing themselves to the dismay of Tucker and Dale.

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This movie has great special effects to go along with the comedy.  The special effects are all practical and gory, similar to the Evil Dead series.  The effects create some gruesome, albeit hilarious death scenes.  My favorite was the cop that gets impaled when he leans against the broken column in the house, causing the kids to freak out as they think that the pair just murdered their only hope for survival.

Tucker and Dale vs Evil is a great movie.  Its funny, well acted, and the gore effects are great.  The humor is the best part of this movie.  You could argue that it’s actually more of a comedy movie with a horror slasher aspect to it.  Overall its got the full package to make it a cult classic.

9/10

-Andre’

Beyond the Gates

beyond the gates

Beyond the Gates is a 2016 horror adventure film.  Two brothers reunite to clean out their recently deceased fathers old VHS store.  In the midst of exploring the old building they find a board game that their father had played just before their father’s death.  Once they begin playing they find themselves host to the perils of horrors from the other side.

This movie was a chore to get through.  For the first half of the movie absolutely nothing happens.  Once the main characters put the game in even the lady in the game does nothing but stares at them from the TV for the most part.  I literally had a conversation about rice during this movie that was more entertaining than anything that was happening on the screen.  The acting is mediocre and awash with blank stares and facial expressions.  The best actor was probably the creepy curator guy but he was just overly cheesy.

Beyond-The-Gates-Movie

The story actually has a good premise, it’s basically trying to be the horror equivalent to Jumanji except if falls flat on its face attempting to emulate it.  The game itself is just dumb.  The characters have to collect four keys that the game inserts inside of a couple of people and then forces the main characters to remove them, killing the person.  So the game punishes random people for having the audacity to know the main characters but the main characters survive no problem.

This movie is boring and not worth your time.  The best thing going for it was that some of the special effects in the kills were pretty cool.  Other than that it’s not worth the hour and a half to sit through.

1/10

-Andre’