Murder Party

murder party

Murder party is a 2007 horror/comedy movie.  It’s the story of a guy who picks up an invitation to a murder party he finds in the street.  When he arrives he finds that his curiosity has led him into something that jeopardizes his safety when he just wanted to enjoy himself.

Murder Party is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen.  It’s rare in the fact that I found it so boring that I couldn’t even finish it.  I managed forty minutes before I had to bow out.  If I had to guess the budget, I’d say less than five grand.  With the majority of that going towards the “actors.”  The plot was horrible and dumb.  The protagonist finds a card on the street that just says murder party with an address and tells him to come alone.  For some wild reason he decides to go despite walking through shady areas and the “party” being at a warehouse.  He isn’t even suspicious when he walks in and only sees a handful of people around.  They even comment about how they didn’t think anyone would  be dumb enough to come there, but the protagonist is.  The antagonist group catches and ties the protagonist up within the first ten minutes of the movie, they then spend the next thirty just talking and doing nothing.  All they do is talk about stupid, mundane nothing while the protagonist sits there.  This movie is billed as a comedy, but I wasn’t able to find anything funny.  I couldn’t even laugh at how bad it was, it was just, draining.

The acting ranged from sub-par to downright bad.  None of the characters are like-able, they’re generally annoying.  Everyone tries to be funny and do funny things but it just comes off as an annoyance.  No one stands out or even puts forth an average performance.  Were they even trying?

Overall this movie sucked.  I found no redeeming qualities about it.  There is nothing positive I can say about it.  I regret wasting my time watching it.  I applaud anyone with a strong enough will to sit through this movie to the end credits.

1/10

-Andre

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Horror Podcasts Pt. 2

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The NoSleep Podcast

https://www.thenosleeppodcast.com/

“In the spring of 2010, a new forum appeared on Reddit.com. It was called “Nosleep” and the concept of this forum (or “subreddit”) was to be a place for people to post original scary stories about frightening experiences. It was an online version of telling spooky stories around the campfire.

A year later, as Nosleep was growing at a rapid pace, one member named Matt Hansen proposed the idea of doing a podcast where some of the top stories from Nosleep would be narrated in audiobook style. The response was quite positive and over the next few months a small group of members endeavored to put together what would come to be known as The Nosleep Podcast. On June 13th, 2011 Episode #1 was released.

David Cummings assumed the role of host and producer and it was decided to release a new episode every two weeks. Producing the podcast has been a learning experience from the start with many Redditors volunteering to narrate and help produce the shows.

The podcast has been well-received from the very beginning. Through word-of-mouth advertising the number of regular listeners has grown steadily. Reviewers on iTunes consistently rate 5 stars and the podcast ranks quite high in its “Arts” category.

The Nosleep Podcast has proudly featured stories from authors who have gone on to publish their stories. Notably, the “Penpal” series from Dathan Auerbach and “99 Brief Scenes from the End of the World” by T.W. Grim.”

The Nosleep Podcast is my favorite horror podcast by far.  The production is top-notch and the voice actors are amazing.  NoSleep has a free and a premium version.  The free version typically features the first three stories with an ad at the beginning of the episode.  The ad is acted out in horror fashion by the shows regular voice talent.  The premium version features an additional two stories, typically rounding out episodes to an hour and a half of content.  In addition, every season for premium subscribers features additional special episodes.  NoSleep also does tours where they do live shows across the US and Canada.  It’s definitely worth checking out!

 

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Pseudopod

http://pseudopod.org/

“You’ve found the world’s premier horror fiction podcast. For over a decade, Pseudopod has been bringing you the best short horror in audio form, to take with you anywhere. We pay our authors professional rates for original fiction and we reach more people every week than any other short fiction horror market.

In 2016 we celebrated our 10th Anniversary. For details, check out our YEAR10 page.

Are you new to Pseudopod? Don’t let our decade of content daunt you. We’ve assembled a list of stories that show the strength and diversity of our offerings. Check it out here (or at the “For New Listeners” link under “Episodes” on the bar above”

Pseudopod is an award-winning podcast that focuses on Sci-Fi and Horror.  Stories are user submitted and acted out by the podcasts voice actors.  Host Alasdair Stuart opens each story talking about the themes and meanings behind certain elements of the story.  The voice sometimes include recognized actors from TV shows and such.

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The Hidden Frequencies

https://thehiddenfrequenciespodcast.podbean.com/

“There are places in the dimension of sound where the walls between universes are thin. In these fragile pockets of static, lies the ability to hear the alternate realities of millions of maybe-people in countless could-be worlds; where the status quo is different from our own. With a keen ear and an open mind we may tune in to these sound waves of the strange, the bizarre and the otherworldly.

They are: The Hidden Frequencies.”

 

 

“The Hidden Frequencies Podcast was created to the great science-fiction/horror anthology shows that influenced a generation of American audiences: shows like The Twilight ZoneThe Outer LimitsX Minus 1Tales From the Dark SideTales from the Crypt and more.

Each episode of the show is a self-contained story: a journey to an alternate earth in an alternate time, where ordinary people must reckon with the extraordinary. Every week, The Frequencies reveal another strange, complex or horrifying world as created by skilled writers at the top of their game and brought to life by a star-studded cast of talented professional voice actors.”

 

Hidden Frequencies is AMAZING.  It’s a brand new podcasts, having debuted its first episode at the beginning of October.  It features some of the production team and voice actors of The NoSleep Podcast.  Having grown up on shows like the Twilight Zone and Tales from the Crypt, this podcast dredges up nostalgic feelings like no other.  Production is amazing.  It’s like a more horror themed version of Twilight Zone with all the weirdness and themes from the original.

-Andre

Horror Podcasts Pt. 1

Just in time for Halloween I’ve decided to drop a few of my favorite horror themed podcasts for scary stories to keep the scares flowing!

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Knifepoint Horror

https://knifepointhorror.libsyn.com/

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The Drabblecast

https://www.drabblecast.org/

We are a weekly audio fiction podcast featuring short and flash fictions from a variety authors. Our singular focus is off-beat, funny, eclecticism in science fiction, fantasy, and horror.

The Drabblecast ran its first episode in February of 2007. In the early days, Norm and college friends and then editors Kendall Marchman and Luke Coddington wrote most of the episodes. But soon a listenership grew, and the Drabblecast began publishing stories contributed by its fans. Later, professional authors got involved. Names like Tim PrattMike ResnickBen H. Winters, and Mur Lafferty have appeared on the podcast.

The Drabblecast is the winner of the 2010, 2011 and 2012 Parsec Awards for Best Speculative Fiction Audio Magazine.”

Drabblecast has amazing production and Norm is one of the best hosts I’ve ever heard.  Stories are typically user submitted and the team chooses which one to produce.  Drabblecast is returning from a long hiatus, bringing its first new story to life on Halloween.

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Lets Not Meet

http://www.letsnotmeetpodcast.com/

“Let’s Not Meet is a true horror podcast. These are stories of real encounters with creeps, murderers and psychos. Told in the form of a campfire narrative, Let’s Not Meet sets out to prove that real monsters are not that of fiction novels or horror films. The real monsters are the humans that walk among us every day of our lives.
The tales told in this podcast are from the Let’s Not Meet forum of reddit.com. Join Andrew Tate every Sunday for new episodes.”
I love Let’s Not Meet for the simple fact that the stories are real.  The  reality of the storeis adds an extra level of creepiness to it knowing that people exist like this in the world and you’re one unlucky instance away from running into them and having your own story to tell.
-Andre

Tucker and Dale vs Evil

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Tucker and Dale vs Evil is a 2010 horror comedy about two friends, Tucker and Dale, who head out to Tuckers cabin to do some repairs and relax.  On the trip the pair encounter a group of college kids who stereotype the them as inbred, homicidal maniacs.  What ensues is a night of blood and comedy as the two groups clash over a misunderstanding.

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The writing and plot are fairly simple but very effective.  Tucker and Dale just want to spend the weekend doing some fishing and drinking beers but have their weekend ruined when these college kids keep killing themselves all over the property.  Tucker and Dale rescue one of the girls when she has an accident while swimming and almost drowns.  Her friends mistake the pair taking her as a kidnapping and set out to get revenge.  The best part was seeing the various ways that people would end up unintentionally killing themselves to the dismay of Tucker and Dale.

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This movie has great special effects to go along with the comedy.  The special effects are all practical and gory, similar to the Evil Dead series.  The effects create some gruesome, albeit hilarious death scenes.  My favorite was the cop that gets impaled when he leans against the broken column in the house, causing the kids to freak out as they think that the pair just murdered their only hope for survival.

Tucker and Dale vs Evil is a great movie.  Its funny, well acted, and the gore effects are great.  The humor is the best part of this movie.  You could argue that it’s actually more of a comedy movie with a horror slasher aspect to it.  Overall its got the full package to make it a cult classic.

9/10

-Andre’

Beyond the Gates

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Beyond the Gates is a 2016 horror adventure film.  Two brothers reunite to clean out their recently deceased fathers old VHS store.  In the midst of exploring the old building they find a board game that their father had played just before their father’s death.  Once they begin playing they find themselves host to the perils of horrors from the other side.

This movie was a chore to get through.  For the first half of the movie absolutely nothing happens.  Once the main characters put the game in even the lady in the game does nothing but stares at them from the TV for the most part.  I literally had a conversation about rice during this movie that was more entertaining than anything that was happening on the screen.  The acting is mediocre and awash with blank stares and facial expressions.  The best actor was probably the creepy curator guy but he was just overly cheesy.

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The story actually has a good premise, it’s basically trying to be the horror equivalent to Jumanji except if falls flat on its face attempting to emulate it.  The game itself is just dumb.  The characters have to collect four keys that the game inserts inside of a couple of people and then forces the main characters to remove them, killing the person.  So the game punishes random people for having the audacity to know the main characters but the main characters survive no problem.

This movie is boring and not worth your time.  The best thing going for it was that some of the special effects in the kills were pretty cool.  Other than that it’s not worth the hour and a half to sit through.

1/10

-Andre’

Annihilation Review

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Annihilation is a 2018 sci-fi/horror film about an unexplainable event called the “shimmer” taking place near the southern coast of the US.  After multiple investigations into the effected area yield no results, a team consisting of five women with various specialties is sent into the shimmer to find out its cause.  Inside they find horrors that challenge everything they’ve ever known about life.

Spoilers

Annihilation has a few good things going for it, but they’re undone by the bad parts.  The cast is excellent, the visuals are amazing, and the atmosphere is great.  For me though, the writing just wasn’t up to par with everything else.  The visuals in this movie look amazing.  The shimmer is being caused by a meteorite that crashed into the area.  As a result all surrounding life begins to be mutated, both plants and animals.  As explained by a member of the team, it has effects similar to a prism, except it refracts everything, including DNA.   This leads to some pretty great scenery and designs.  The group encounters strange sights ranging from an alligator with shark-like features to plants that take the shape of a human.  My favorite effect caused by the shimmer was the zombie bear that captured the voices of those it killed.  After it attacked one of the ladies, it lures the other women to it when it screams for help in her dying voice, tricking them into believing she’s still alive.   annihilation-2018-monster-bear-review-600x300

The weakest part of this movie was the writing.  Even though this is an unexplainable, alien event there’s a lot of things that happen that really make no sense.  There are far too many moments where common sense and logic are absent when these people are supposed to be smart, on paper.  Towards the beginning its shows that the military has been sending teams into the shimmer for a few years and none of them have ever returned.  So what do they do?  Continue to do the exact same thing for years, producing the same “results,” letting them learn nothing about this thing.  When Oscar Isaacs character is shown to be the only person who’s ever returned from the shimmer he begins to spasm and cough up blood hes quarantined immediately as his health starts to fail.  The very next group that gets sent into the shimmer goes in without so much as a dust mask on with only one having prior combat training.  Obviously something inside caused him to have that reaction just as something else claimed the lives of every group sent in before yet there’s no further preparation, not steps taken to do anything different to get results.

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Some of these girls are pretty dumb.  They have a paramedic among them and when the group sees a video from a previous group, they see a soldier with his insides squirming and moving under his skin as though his intestines are alive.  The paramedic says it’s just a trick of the light and everyone looks at her like she’s an idiot.  Another scene that makes you scratch your head is when the group is attacked by the mutated alligator at the edge of the swamp.  This is a giant alligator, roughly thirty feet, highly aggressive and really strong.  They manage to kill it, and the next scene shows them in tiny boats traveling through the swamp.  I guess they were taking the risk that was the only alligator in the entire area.  At night they hole up in a facility and station someone at a guard shack to keep watch.  The facility their sleeping in is a large tower and the guard shack is roughly three hundred feet from it.  So obviously the person in the guard shack gets attacked and killed and no one even sees what happened or what did it because it was so far away.

ENDING

The ending is…… it’s so weird that a description really cant’ do it any justice, but here goes.  Portman gets to the initial crash site of the meteor and finds Leigh there who vomits out a rainbow rock, which transforms into a humanoid shape.  This humanoid shape proves impervious to harm when Portman shoots at it, then it chases her culminating in a weird scene of mimicry and hugging before it turns into a copy of Portman.  The ending is left open-ended as to whether the person we see outside in the real world is actually Portman or the alien thing.

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Overall, this is a movie that had great potential but ultimately fell on its face.  I liked it for the fact that it’s the closet to a modern adaptation of one of my favorite stories, The Colour out of Space and its interesting to see such a similar concept on-screen.  Other than that, this movie is ultimately brought down by the poor writing and sheer dumbness of the plot.  Basically this movie is dumb and made no sense, but it was amazing to look at.

5/10

-Andre’

Terrifier Review

Terrifier

Terrifier is a 2017 horror slasher film.  Terrifier follows Art the Clown in his solo debut movie as he spends Halloween night tormenting three young women who were unlucky to have come across him.

Spoilers

Terrifier is essentially just a slasher, but what sets it apart from other slashers is Art the Clown.  Aside from Art though, this movie doesn’t really offer anything in the way of character or plot development.  Everyone is just cannon fodder for Arts rampage.  Characters do dumb things and are punished for it later on.  For instance, there’s a scene where after Art brutally murders her friend in front of her, the girl manages to stab him then after he goes down, she drops her weapon and runs off to hide.  As with any slasher ever, he gets up and comes after her again, brutally disfiguring her in return.  The plot is paper thin, killer chases victims and kills them.  That’s all there is to it.   I’m guessing the script was a few pages long at the most.  What I did like about the plot was that they did away with the common trope of a lone female who survives it all.  While there was only one female survivor, she’s horrible disfigured and becomes a psychopath killer herself as a result of the horrific night she had to endure.

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Art the Clown is the best and probably only good thing about this movie.  He’s really creepy and unsettling.  He doesn’t speak, or make any noises for that matter.  Art is actually more of a mime than he is a clown but I didn’t come up with the name.  He’s essentially a much more brutal Pennywise the dancing clown placed on mute.  His costume and mannerisms, combined with the way he kills his victims makes him a very memorable villain and one of my favorite slashers.  All signs point to Art being a franchise character and I really hope that in his next outing that he can remain the character he is while having more well written protagonist to go up against.

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Overall, Terrifier is a decent movie.  Although the plot and a lot of the characters were really thin and not fleshed out, I think that Art the Clown made up for a lot of it.  I love the eighties cinematography style that it’s filmed in, it gives it more of a grindhouse slasher type of feel even though it’s a new movie.  That said, there is a lot of gore, and its all done with practical effects that make it look great.  Terrifier is a good movie that could be a great movie with a little improvement on the paper thin plot.

6/10

-Andre