I tried Starbucks’ Unicorn Frappuccino today so you don’t have to.
First, let me tell you something about myself: I love unicorns. I have unicorn jewelry. I watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (Twilight Sparkle is my favorite, in case you were wondering). I still have the horn saved from the unicorn piñata I had at my birthday party when I was like 7. I have a unicorn/narwhal art print framed on my bedroom wall. Yeah.
So imagine my excitement when I heard Starbucks was releasing a limited edition Unicorn Frapp! (PS – I also love me some Starbucks. Give me a sugary sweet grande goodie any day of the week.) Very excitement. Much excited.
The Unicorn Frapp is a beautiful creation. Just behold its pink and blue swirly beauty, topped with whipped cream and magic sparkle sprinkles:
You expect it to taste like cotton candy, right? Or birthday cake. Or strawberries.
This thing is different.
I had already heard some things on the internet about the recipe for this disaster, so I didn’t go in without skepticism. It’s basically mango flavor with blue raspberry sour swirl. As you mix it, it’s supposed to magically change colors and flavors. Cool concept, but mango and sour blue raspberry in a creamy Frappuccino? Hmmm….
Rather than describing the experience of drinking this, allow me to show you instead:
Needles to say, I did not like it, Sam I Am. I did not like it one bit.
It is quite sour, and as you mix, the sour just permeates through the mango flavor, which would have been decent on its own. The creamy-ness of the Frapp also adds a really strange dimension; you don’t normally have sour and creamy in one drink, and for a good reason: it’s awful. Altogether an abomination. An insult to unicorns everywhere. Would not recommend.
Thankfully, the Unicorn Frappuccino will only be sold for a few days, while supplies last. Then it will magically disappear into the social media abyss, right along with the striped dress and the Harlem Shake. May it rest in peace.